Wedding Ceremony Types and Traditions

Wedding Ceremony Types & Traditions

What comes to mind when you think of a wedding ceremony? Maybe you default to a white dress walking down a long aisle, some sort of vows exchanged beneath an archway, a kiss, and then the party. But here’s the truth: your wedding ceremony, whether you’re eloping or marrying in the presence of lots of loved ones, doesn’t have to follow the script we’ve been misled to believe is necessary in order to have a meaningful celebration. In fact, some of the most moving, emotive weddings and elopements I’ve photographed have been the ones that felt undeniably personal – wedding ceremonies crafted around the couple’s beliefs, values, passions, and the connection they share that brought them together in the first place. 

Regardless of the kind of celebration you’re planning, your ceremony can be altered and rooted in what matters most to you and your partner. Meaning looks and feels different for everyone, so why confine yourselves to a box that doesn’t fit? Here are a few ideas for varying types of wedding ceremonies and distinctive traditions to spark your imagination as you continue to plan an experience that’s aligned with who you are.

Religious Ceremonies

For couples whose faith is an integral part of their lives, a religious ceremony can be a strong source of symbolism, divinity, and act as a sense of spiritual grounding. While there are five major religions recognized across the world, (Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism), it’s estimated that there are over 4,000+ in totality. 

As you can see, there’s a wide array of belief systems that are trademarked by their own sets of marital traditions and rituals. This list barely scratches the surface. If you and your partner come from different religious backgrounds, you may consider a “multi-faith” or “interfaith” ceremony. More specifically, couples can interweave elements from each faith into one unified wedding ceremony. Depending on the complexity of their interfaith celebration, couples may choose to have joint officiants to conduct each side of the ceremony, or consult with their religious leaders to select what customs and practices to include that honor each of their beliefs.

Secular & Civil Ceremonies

If religion isn’t a part of your life, a secular or civil ceremony might feel like a more authentic fit for you. A civil ceremony is defined as a non-religious, lawful ceremony that’s performed by a government official or functionary. The requirements to hold a civil ceremony will depend on your state’s individual nuptial policies.These types of wedding ceremonies are highly customizable, and when officiated by an authorized official, they are legally binding. Although they are most commonly performed at a city hall or courthouse, your ceremony can take place virtually anywhere you want it to – a mountaintop, a family property or backyard, a national park, wherever your heart desires. Some people write and exchange their own vows, include readings from favorite books, poems, or movies, and/or invite a close friend or family member to officiate. 

Additionally, there are wedding ceremonies known as self-solemnization ceremonies. In short, there are some U.S. states, (looking at you Colorado and Washington D.C.), where couples can legally marry themselves. There is no officiant needed. Also known as self-uniting marriages, these ceremonies are particularly empowering for couples who want complete freedom in crafting their experience. It doubles as a wonderful option for introverted couples, or for those who want a special, two-person moment.  For more information on self-solemnization ceremonies, click this post titled, “How to Self-Solemnize; A Guide to Self-Uniting Ceremonies”.

Pro Tip: As an ordained Destination Wedding and Elopement Photographer, a favorite resource for an easy, online ordination service, (that’s recognized and valid in most states), is The Universal Life Church. 

Commitment Ceremony

It’s possible you’ve heard this term floating around the wedding and elopement world, but what exactly is a commitment ceremony? Similarly, a commitment ceremony is an open invitation to couples that encourages them to center their wedding ceremony design around handwritten vows, cultural or spiritual beliefs, shared values, traditions, or rituals. However, unlike other ceremony types, a commitment ceremony is not legally binding. There is no marriage license or document needed to participate in this kind of wedding ceremony. This is an extremely popular choice among eloping couples because of the flexibility in ceremony curation and duration. It’s one less “hoop to jump through” for couples opting for a celebration that defies, or transcends, the traditional. It’s important to note that a commitment ceremony still leaves room for couples to legalize their marriage at a later time, and is entirely built around their preferences. As a matter of fact, around 75% of the wedding celebrations I’ve photographed in the past two years have featured commitment ceremonies in lieu of a traditional wedding ceremony.  

A commitment ceremony is an ideal choice for: 

Frequently Asked Questions About Commitment Ceremonies

Can a commitment ceremony still include an officiant, vows, or other traditions?

Certainly. A commitment ceremony can closely mirror that of a traditional wedding ceremony, or it can be completely unconventional. The idea behind a commitment ceremony is about celebrating your relationship in a way that feels true to you, not checking off a list of formalities in order to validate your commitment. There are no rules, no prerequisites, and no legal paperwork to dictate what your day should look like.For ways to personalize your own commitment or wedding ceremony, skip ahead to Cultural & Ancestral Traditions, Creative Unity Rituals, or Adventurous Ceremonies. 

Can we still have a photographer and/or guests attend our commitment ceremony?

Regardless of the scope of your commitment ceremony, you can still have a photographer and/or guests attend your celebration. Many couples hire a photographer, (like me!), to document the emotional significance of the occasion, even if it’s just the two of them. These moments are both worth honoring and remembering, and the absence of legal paperwork doesn’t change that. Once again, you are in full control of what your ceremony looks like, what it entails, how it feels, and who has the privilege of being present. 

Will people understand why we’ve chosen to have a commitment ceremony vs. a traditional wedding ceremony?

While some people may not immediately understand why you’re skipping legal marriage, it’s important to remember that your wedding day is about you and your relationship – not the expectations and opinions of others. Don’t let the disillusionments of the people around you cloud what matters most. Many couples find that sharing the “why” behind their decision helps others appreciate and understand the intentionality of their decisions. Whether you and your partner choose to disclose this information with loved ones is entirely of your own discretion. Love is valid in all its forms, follow the path that aligns with who you are and block out the noise. 

Cultural & Ancestral Traditions

In a world full of so many colorful cultures and belief systems, many couples are finding meaning in ceremony elements passed down through their cultural or ancestral roots. There are an abundance of rituals and symbolic gestures you can incorporate into your wedding ceremony that resonate with your commitment, and maybe even your heritage. It’s becoming more and more popular for couples to rediscover ancient or borrowed traditions that inspire them to create their own for such an intimate experience. Keeping ancient traditions alive in a modern world can be a lovely and gratifying pursuit, so here’s a list of just a few to keep in mind: 

Handfasting

An old practice that’s been resurfacing all over the world is the famous Celtic tradition of handfasting. Dating back to 7000 B.C., the emergence of handfasting is believed to have originated from the lands of ancient Ireland. It didn’t take long for this act to reach neighboring lands such as Scotland, England, and the Nordic countries. Handfasting became a prominent function in Viking tradition, and has since become a staple in both Pagan and Wiccan ideology. During a handfasting ceremony, the couple binds their hands together with a ribbon or cord. The cord should be a color that coordinates with the qualities the couple values the most, like love, passion, loyalty, etc. While their hands are bound, the couple will typically exchange vows or share sentimental words with each other. Some couples choose to also exchange their rings during this time, light special candles, or share a collection of words that have a direct connection to the handfasting tradition itself.

Fun Fact: The act of tying the cord or ribbon around the couple’s hands is where the saying “tying the knot” comes from, an utterly famous colloquialism in the wedding world. 

Four Directions Ceremony

Perhaps one of my favorite traditions, a Four Directions ceremony is a spiritually-forward, earth-centric Indigenous tradition that honors the interconnectedness of all life. For this wedding ceremony, each direction, (North, East, South, West), holds its own symbolic meaning. During a wedding or elopement, the couple or the officiant may turn to face each direction, offering words of prayer, intention, or gratitude. The North represents stability and ancestral guidance. The East often symbolizes new beginnings and clarity. The South embodies warmth and growth. Last, but not least, the West is indicative of intuition and reflection. What makes this tradition so enticing is its beckoning call to slow down and connect with your partner, with the land around you, and maybe even with something greater. Just like handfasting, couples have room to customize this ceremony to reflect their personal beliefs or values. Although rooted in Indigenous teachings, non-indigenous couples who are drawn to this ritual can engage with it respectfully by approaching it with humility, acknowledgment, and reverence.

Tree Planting

Tree planting has become a widely popular addition to modern wedding ceremonies. It’s a beautiful ritual that simultaneously honors the earth, while symbolizing growth and commitment. Furthermore, it is a testament to the ever-deepening roots a couple chooses to cultivate together as they enter this season of life. During a tree planting, the couple uses soil derived from meaningful places in their lives, (like their hometown, first house, or wedding location). Then, the couple will water the tree together, sometimes inviting loved ones to join in for an added layer of connection. Tree planting is especially fitting for outdoor weddings and elopements, where the natural world fulfills a centric role in the occasion. As time passes, the tree becomes an evolving reminder of the vows made, and the life built with each other, growing and changing just as marriage does.

Creative Unity Rituals For Your Wedding Ceremony

Candle Lighting

Candle lighting is a symbolic visual of merging two lives into one. It frequently stands for unity and partnership. Traditionally, the couple will begin by lighting two individual taper candles of any color meaningful to them. Afterwards, they use those flames to light one single candle at the center of the ceremony at the same time. Some faiths refer to this central candle as the “unity candle”, as it signifies the start of their shared marital journey together. People have found creative ways to alter this ritual to better fit their needs. Some couples choose to include family as a way to acknowledge generational support, while others have performed this ceremonial act alone and quietly during their wedding or elopement day. 

Wedding Box

A wedding box, also sometimes referred to as a marriage or wine box, is a truly nostalgic way to preserve the intricacies of your wedding experience. Essentially, you and your spouse will compile keepsakes and details from your wedding or elopement day. Then, you’ll lock them away in a box until your first married anniversary. After that time has lapsed, you’ll open the box and explore the tangible memories that have remained inside. Couples have chosen to include copies of their vows, handwritten love letters, a favorite bottle of wine or an equivalent, polaroids or film from their special day, a map of their wedding location, and so much more. While this is standard practice, it is completely up to you what you include, how you include those items, and the timeframe in which you open your box. 

Tree Planting

Tree planting has become a widely popular addition to modern wedding ceremonies. It’s a beautiful ritual that simultaneously honors the earth, while symbolizing growth and commitment. Furthermore, it is a testament to the ever-deepening roots a couple chooses to cultivate together as they enter this season of life. During a tree planting, the couple uses soil derived from meaningful places in their lives, (like their hometown, first house, or wedding location). Then, the couple will water the tree together, sometimes inviting loved ones to join in for an added layer of connection. Tree planting is especially fitting for outdoor weddings and elopements, where the natural world fulfills a centric role in the occasion. As time passes, the tree becomes an evolving reminder of the vows made, and the life built with each other, growing and changing just as marriage does.

Adventurous Ceremonies

If you feel most alive in the great outdoors, your wedding ceremony can include an activity instead of, or in conjunction with, other traditions or rituals. For example, you can hike to your ceremony location and say your vows at sunrise. Or imagine this, you kayak across a lake, and have your ceremony on a secluded beach. If you and your partner love to climb or rock scramble, you can ascend a natural rock formation and tie the knot at the top. Maybe you’re a night owl, and you choose to stargaze as you exchange rings underneath the night sky. Adventure-based wedding ceremonies allow ample space for spontaneity and authenticity, making them as experiential as it is emotional. The possibilities are endless. If you’re looking for more activity ideas for your wedding or elopement, check out this list of 25+ activities here. 

Tips for Creating Your Own Wedding Ceremony

As you search for inspiration across the web in order to create your wedding ceremony, don’t lose sight of your values. In fact, start there. Talk with your partner, and ask yourselves what you believe about love, partnership, and life together. This helps you narrow down what you want to emphasize in your ceremony, and how to make it feel incredibly relevant to your relationship. You may even consider involving people that you love and trust. A friend or family member can help shape your wedding ceremony into something that feels grounded and interconnected. They can lead or officiate your ceremony, guide you as you write vows, or be a sounding board for organizing your ideas. Think about small symbols or stories that represent moments of growth, laughter, or resilience that brought you to this point. Lastly, don’t be afraid to break the rules or step outside of societal constructs. There is no single right way to say “I do”- only the way that aligns with who you are.  

10 Questions to Ask Your Partner to Create Your Wedding Ceremony

Your Wedding Ceremony is Important

As a documentary-style wedding and elopement photographer with over half a decade’s experience, I’ve had the good fortune of witnessing ceremonies of every shape and size. I am infinitely inspired by the creativity couples bring to the table when they give themselves permission to do things their way. Your wedding ceremony doesn’t have to be, or even feel like, a formality. It can be just a small part of your experience, or it can be the overall heartbeat of the day. You hold the cards to design a ceremony that reflects your shared life, and all of the things you and your partner value most. Whether you’re imagining something unconventional or something more laid back, I’d love to be there to help you bring your wedding day dreams to life. Reach out here to start the conversation, why wait any longer?